Symptom Insanity

OMG! I don't know if I'm going to be able to hold out and not POAS before my beta on Wednesday! This weekend has been unbearable. Please talk me away from the edge!

I have all of the following symptoms:

• Sore breasts...seriously achy and I have never had sore breasts
• Constipation! I haven't had any more prune juice since the incident last week when it worked a bit too well and now, well, now I'm having a "hard" time of it.
• Sleepy. Very sleepy.
• Cramps galore and increasing every day.

I'm so scared that all of these symptoms are a result of the meds, both the progesterone and the estrace. I particularly think it may be the estrace because I've never taken estrace orally and I know that taking the hormone meds orally can increase the side effects. All the other meds, I've taken during my other IVF cycles and I had no real side effects. I'm only taking one 2mg pill of estrace orally because my estrogen levels were a little bit low on the day of my transfer. The rest of the estrogen is being administered by the Viv.elle patches.

Has anyone taken estrace orally? Did you have any of the same symptoms?

Please, please, convince me that waiting until Wed is the way to go!

Pooped...

3dp5dt and I'm back in the Bay and relaxing at home for the rest of the week until I have to go back to work on Monday. So far I feel ok with a couple of exceptions...

I'm pooped. I've been sleeping 9-10 hours/day since the transfer and I'm still tired. As a matter of fact, after I type up this post, I'm going to take a nap.

The other exception is that I'm pooped...literally. I'm having some serious bowel issues. I've been seriously constipated the past couple of days, so today I decided to take matters into my own hands and I had a nice glass of prune juice (disgusting). I'm not sure if it was that or something else, but I am now officially unplugged. The flood gates have been opened. The Kraken has been released. You get the picture...At this point I'm not sure which extreme is worse. I just hope things stay nice and quiet for awhile.

Transfer Complete!

We had our transfer yesterday and everything went a-ok...actually, it went as well as I could have hoped for.

When we got to CC.RM, I did the mandatory bloodwork to test my estradiol and progesterone. Then we were ushered upstairs to our first session of acupuncture. After that, we had to wait a bit and that was really uncomfortable because my bladder was so full. I had to ask a couple of times for the nurse to let me empty my bladder.

Eventually, Dr. Sur came in with the embryologist and transferred two fully expanded, hatching blastocysts. One of the blastocysts survived 100% and the other survived 98%, but both were hatching and they both looked great.

I have all my fingers and toes crossed that one of these little blasts is on its way to taking up residence in my uterus. My beta is scheduled for next Wed. Hopefully, I'll be patient enough to wait and not test beforehand!

Too Much Thinking!

I hate to admit it, but I've been thinking way too much and thinking too much usually leads to me worrying and then anxiety and then second-guessing. So, that's where I am right now...second-guessing on everything related to the FET.

Currently the issue I'm obsessing on is whether or not I should have requested a test for beta integrins. When I talked to Dr. Sur about this he said that he didn't think I should test because nothing pointed to implantation issues. I asked why, considering I've had 2 failed IVFs and he replied that those were most likely embryo quality issues.

At the time we talked about this it made sense. The first IVF we transferred two fair day-2 embryos which most likely would not have made it past day 3 and on our second try we transferred a single fair day-3 embryo. So, nothing to make you say, hmmm...those were good embyros, why didn't they make it?

I know it's a bit late for me to be wavering like this, but I can't help wondering. To give me a little piece of mind, I've told myself it things don't work for me with this FET, I'll definitely do the test before our next FET AND I'll also do a laparoscopy (even if Doc doesn't agree with this one).

No Silver Lining

Not even a hint or glimmer of silver. I got the news and I had a feeling that it was going to come down to this -- my lining is just barely too thin. It's at 7.7mm and CC.RM likes it at 8mm. No word yet on what'll happen to the FET. I guess we just wait and see, but that's not all the good news.

There's also something happening with the lining. Some abnormal thickening on one area of the lining. The doctor who did the scan thinks it might be a polyp or something, but it's definitely a lump/protrusion of some sort. Not very large, but it's there. It's a bit strange, so we'll see what CC.RM says, but for the time being I'm a little freaked out and whole lot worried.

UPDATE: We're still on for the 8th! Part of me is happy and excited, the other part is second-guessing whether or not we should go forward seeing as though we're right on the borderline of too-thin and we have the unidentified something or other growing in my uterus. But, Dr. Sur says it's a go and I've trusted them this far, so Denver here we come!

Living with Lupron

That's been my life lately and let me tell you, it's been no barrel of monkeys. I had no idea that lupron could make your life a living hell. The first few days were smooth sailing and I was even gloating about how I didn't have any of those horrible side effects that I had read about, but then...the headaches, the nausea, the hot flashes. I have them all. To say it's unpleasant is putting it mildly and I have to continue with it until August 2nd!

Other than my bitching, there's really nothing new to report on. I've started on the FET meds and my transfer is still scheduled for Monday, August 8th. I've already taken the entire week off to relax and chill.

Oh! How could I forget? In addition to my lupron woes, I also hurt my back doing squats at the gym. So, I've been icing, going to the chiropractor, and basically, hobbling around for the past week. That, in combination with the lupron, has made me quite the happy camper. Poor Doc has had to deal with my bitching and complaining. I'm sure he'll be happy when this is all over, too.

Signing off to take other shot of the devil water!

Back to Reality

Sorry for the huge lapse in posts. I know there's no excuse, but does being on vacation count? I just got back from our vacation to Iceland, Finland, Sweden, Estonia, and Greenland. It was a whirlwind trip with no rest. Seriously, I need a vacay from our vacay. Doc loves to pack as much as he can into our trips and this time he outdid himself. We spent the most time in Iceland, driving around the country and seeing all the major sites. It is an absolutely beautiful island and the name, "Iceland," is a bit of a misnomer. It was cold, but it's also very green and lush with tons of beautiful waterfalls. Luckily, our days were long with 20+ hours of sunlight, so we were able to squeeze a lot into our days.

But now I'm back at the office, trying to refocus again. It's so hard to get back into the swing of things after coming back from vacation. (insert long sigh) I always, always kick myself for not adding in a couple of buffer days to make the transition a little less painful. It never works, though.

On another note, the countdown has begun to my FET...It's a little less than a month away before I head back to Denver to transfer two of my four blasts. I started the lupron yesterday and the last day for my BCPs is tomorrow. I can't believe we're so close. I don't want to get my hopes up, so I'm trying to remind myself that I only have a 50/50 chance according to all the stats that I've read on Google and what Dr. Sur has told me. I'm taking it one day at time and hoping for the best!