Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Getting the FET Ball Rolling

I finally have the date set for my FET. I'll start the lupron right after we get back from Iceland on July 10th and then on August 8th is when I get to meet my blasts.

It's such a mixed bag of emotions right now. I really, really want this to be over, but at the same time I know this is my last chance, my final grasp at the straws, the grand finale...The fat lady will be singing and hopefully, it'll be a happy tune. I keep telling myself to be positive, but it's so hard every, single time I hear another pregnancy announcement, see a freakin' HPT commercial, or even just walk by a pregnant woman.

I've been trying to keep myself sane and not think about this too much. I'm trying not to get my hopes up. I know if I do, I may not be able to recover without some serious damage. Doc has been wonderful and supportive, but I'm just a really bad communicator and I keep things to myself most of the time. Over the years, he's learned to be patient and sooner or later, I usually tell him what's on my mind and what's bothering me, but it could be after a couple hours or it could be months down the road. I'm sure I could do with a therapy session or two, but I've done that and it hasn't helped me at all.

Anyway, enough of the depressing ramble...I've got a vacay to prep for and then a successful FET!