Human Again

After two and a half months of constant nausea and fatigue I'm starting to feel human again. Slowly, but surely I'm making my way out of the first trimester (plus some) of traumatizing, mind-numbing morning sickness. Add to that having to deal with the busy season at work and then come home to an intensely energetic toddler and you have a recipe for complete and utter misery.

Seriously, part of me wonders how I made it through the last three months. It's been torturous and in so many ways so much worse than the first time around. The only saving grace was that I knew that there was light at the end of the tunnel and this pain would not last forever. That being said, when you're about to collapse from exhaustion after work, your stomach is in shambles, your little one is begging you to go to the park, and you somehow have to get dinner ready, you have to wonder, for a brief second, if it's worth it.

So, yes, as you can tell, I'm still pregnant and so far things have been going fairly smoothly. It's so different this time around and part of me feels a little guilty already to #2. I definitely don't have the same amount of time to think about him (we're 90% sure it's a boy from the NT scan) and rest the way I did with J. Last time around I would count the days until my next OB appointment, but this time I have to look on the calendar to make sure I don't miss it.

At 16 months, J is a handful. He has so much energy and never sits still. It's actually a running joke that everybody in the neighborhood knows him because we're always out. We're either at the park or the school or storytime or kindergym. As soon as we say the word "outside," he'll run to get his jacket and his shoes and he'll wait by the door.

It's amazing how much he's absorbing on a day-to-day basis. He can say about a dozen words from umma (mom in korean) to shoes and his nanny's name. But, he knows/understands body parts and can point to them: head, ears, eyes, nose, mouth, toes, fingers, foot in both English and Spanish (his nanny speaks to him 100% in Spanish). He knows "vamonos" and says "a-do" for adios and knows that when  you pick up the phone you say "hello" but when he sees people he says "hi." He also knows about half a dozen animals from monkey to goldfish and mimics their sounds.

I just can't believe how much he's grown and to see his personality shining through. J is so incredibly independent...Other moms actually comment on it at the park. He wants to do everything on his own and only asks for help when he knows he needs it (i.e., climbing big stairs).

It's been wonderful so far, but we've had our challenges, too. We're starting to hit some tantrums and pickiness with food. Also, he's been transitioning to one nap and that's been a bit difficult. He's only been sleeping for 1.5 hours in the afternoon and he definitely needs more than that. So, not all rainbows and unicorns, but we're getting through it.

Last but not least, a very happy pic of J during dinner.

Months...

I know it's been months since I've written here and I don't know if anyone is still reading this, but I thought I might just post a quick update because soooooo much has been going on.

1) J's first birthday was a success! We had the Korean traditional dol ceremony and he ended up selecting the pencil which means he'll be a scholar. We were hoping for the money, but being smart is not so bad either. Anyway, we just barely managed to pull the whole thing off because...

2) We moved! Yes, we finally moved to our "dream" area. It's a small suburb of SF and has great schools. It was completely unexpected. We had been looking for awhile and put on an offer in on our first home which was rejected for another all-cash offer. But, low and behold, 2 months later the seller's agent contacted us and asked if we were still interested because the cash offer had not materialized. So, right when we were about to leave for our vacation to Ireland (yes, we were planning on our first real international vacay with J) we ended up in escrow and having to cancel our trip. We really like the new neighborhood, but part of me misses the diversity of our old 'hood.

3) Ah, so, that leads me to the selling of our old home which was the BIGGEST pain in the ass. With a baby at home all day (with our nanny) it was so hard to schedule viewings of our house. People wanted to come in the middle of his nap or in the evening after his bedtime. Luckily, it sold pretty quickly, right after the first and only open house. But after experiencing the pain of selling, buying and moving, we've decided that we're never moving again. Someone will have to remove my dead body from this  house.

4) Speaking of nannies, this was also the biggest clusterf**k ever. Our nanny, whom I'll refer to as Mim, has been with us since J was a little less than 6 months. She is great! She fits well with the family, super energetic, loves J and vice versa, very outgoing and is in general a really nice person. But (there's always a but) she doesn't drive and we were fortunate that our old house was within walking distance from BART (ah, BART...that is another headache we're dealing with because of the damn strike, but I digress). Ok, well, the new house is not within walking distance to BART, however, there's a bus that runs from BART that will drop you off about 3 blocks from our house. Our concern was that although Mim may be able to get to-from our house, how would she ever get J to the park and any other activities. So, began our search for a new nanny...In a span of 3 weeks we interviewed 8 nannies, and "tested" 2 nannies. One nanny we immediately knew was not for us and the second nanny we tried out for 3 weeks. I assumed J would get used to his new nanny, but he never did. He would cry and whine every morning when I left and would never be happy to see her. But, the kicker was when I found out she had been doing her laundry at our house without ever asking us. She would bring in her laundry after I would leave in the AM and hide it back in her car before I came home. I wasn't so angry about the laundry itself, but the fact that she was hiding this and doing her laundry "secretively" behind our backs. It just bothered the crap out of me, so we gave her the boot and asked Mim if she'd be willing to take J on the bus to the park and around the 'hood. And so far it's been great! He loves riding on the bus and is so happy to see Mim in the morning. I guess I took it for granted that it was so easy to find Mim...I didn't realize how hard it is to find a good nanny.

5) The other life changing event (or possibly event-to-be)...I am pregnant! We got a surprise BFP last week after my period was late. I still can't believe it. I checked my HCG on Monday and it was 1,215 and on Wednesday it had increased to 2,800. So, it's doubled and we're progressing along. Based on my LMP, I should be about 5 weeks pregnant (give or take a day or two). Doc and I are still shocked. We had just scheduled a workup date in August with CC.RM for our FET, and had planned to do the actual FET in November. That way J and the baby would be a little over 2 years apart and we'd have time to fit in a nice international trip during my second tri. I still can't believe that I'm actually pregnant considering my first real period was my last one back in May. We have our first ultrasound scheduled in a three weeks so I'm still really wary of expecting too much. I mean, come on, we did 4 IVFs to get J!

So, I'm still alive and kicking, although sometimes I feel like things are a bit out of control. And with that, I'll leave you with a couple of pics of J.

Excuse the nasty bib, J's been teething like a maniac and drools constantly.

2013

Where do I even start...First, happy new year! I can't believe this is my first post for 2013. It's been way too long. 

For the first time in several years, we actually stayed at home for the holidays. We had planned to go to Tahoe for a few days and maybe even get some snow time in, but the day after Xmas it started pouring and the roads were a nightmare, so we decided to bag the trip and instead just hang out. So, we spent the holidays at home chillin' and relaxin' and not doing much of anything. 

January and February have been a blur. J started crawling and pulling himself up to standing position and along with that was having to baby proof every inch of our house. He's such a busy-body and loves people (no stranger anxiety whatsoever), so we try to get him out of the house as much as possible and schedule play dates with friends. It's so cute to see him interact with other babies. It's mostly just a bunch of pulling hair, touching faces, and grabbing toys.

Add to that my mother's trip to Korea which got extended for an extra 2 months which caused us to scramble in order to find care for J (she was watching J one day per week). Luckily, both my job and Doc's job provides a back-up care benefit. It wasn't easy, though, because my mom changed her return date on us 3 times! Granted the rescheduling wasn't her fault since she was there to take care of some family financial stuff, but it was a pain in the ass.

And then add a spoonful of our seemingly neverending search for a new home...The housing market is again heating up in the Bay Area and we've put in offers for two houses at asking price and have been rejected. Every weekend is spent going to open houses which we somehow have to finagle around J's nap time.

And then add a pinch of new job anxiety. Yep, that's right, in the middle of all this, I was interviewing for new jobs. I wasn't actively looking to leave my current job, but I got contacted through linked.in by two companies and decided to try for them. The second company offered me a package that I just couldn't refuse that included working from home 3 days per week. So, I'll be starting that in 3 weeks! I've been in my current position for almost 5 years, so I'm a bit apprehensive about the move, but I think it'll be a good thing...well, at least hoping that it'll be a good thing.

And last, we add in two tsps of a vacation to Ireland in April and J's first birthday (Korean dol) in May. We've preparing for our two weeks in Ireland at the beginning of April and keeping our fingers crossed that J will make it through the flight without too many breakdowns. And, we've started planning for his birthday in May. The first birthday is a big event for Koreans, so there's a lot of planning to do. We've rented out the community center and anticipate somewhere between 60-80 people to be there.

On that final note, I leave you with a pic of our recent lunch date.