Thursday, March 17, 2011

Waiting For O and Other Stuff

The title of this post basically sums it up. I'm just waiting to O and then the countdown begins. How am I feeling? Well, part of me can't believe I'm going through this again. As I get out my credit card and order those meds, I can actually hear the money going down the drain. Another cycle of shots, bruises, pills and travel. Is it worth it?

I'm really hoping that it is. I'm placing $30K on "Yes" and praying to every god that something good will come out of this. Please, please don't let this be a waste of time, energy, hope, and money. All we need is one good egg.

To make matters a tad more stressful, if we don't get at least one good blast out of this I'll feel oodles and oodles of guilt. I was the one that convinced Doc to do one more cycle to get one more egg. The money that we're using on this cycle could have gone to a down payment on a new home (so we can get out of our current home), but no, I convinced him that in the long run it would be worth. What's more valuable...a better neighborhood or a child? So, there it is and I feel like the responsibility for that decision is on my shoulders.

That being said, the "Other Stuff" in my title refers to our upcoming trip to Utah to go skiing/snowboarding. I'm excited! We're going for 4 days and will be staying at The Canyons resort. Hopefully, this will be my last ski/snowboarding trip for awhile and thankfully, I won't have to start my cetro.tide until after I get back, so no shots to travel with.

And, my very last note: Happy St. Patty's Day and the luck of the Irish to you!


Teresa said...

Good luck Sooz. I totally feel you on the responsibility that comes with all that money. I too have convinced my hubs to go with CCRM even though the money could be used in 100 other areas of our life.

Happy St. Paddys!

Do I Have to Be a D.I.N.K.? said...

Sounds like a wonderful trip! Have fun!

sienna said...

i wrote the longest freaking comment yesterday and it got lost. i'm still very annoyed. ugh.

i know how hard it is, but try not to think about all the money. i'm guilty of it myself and now think in terms of "how many huge diamond earrings could i have bought with the money we've spent on ivf already"? don't even ask me why i'm computing things into diamonds, considering that i don't own diamond earrings, but strange things happen when you're dropping cash in such abundance on IF.

it will ALL be well worth it in the end sooz! you can always move to a better hood later, and doc obviously wants the same thing that you do, bc it doesn't seem like you had to twist his arms very much to do this final cycle.

you just need another normal blastie out of this, so just think "all i need is one". bc i'll be rooting on the sidelines for you to get (dare i say it), a FEW blasties bc you deserve it (and then some) at this point.

hang on a little longer. go have an awesome time boarding, and then you'll be all rested and geared up to go for this next round. i hope it's easier in that you know the landscape of the clinic/denver this time around, so not everything will be new. everything crosseD!

Anonymous said...

gah, the money. i hate that part of IF the worst. it will all be worth it when it works. and it's going to work this time! i have every possible thing crossed for you!

have fun on your trip!