Transfer Complete!

We had our transfer yesterday and everything went a-ok...actually, it went as well as I could have hoped for.

When we got to CC.RM, I did the mandatory bloodwork to test my estradiol and progesterone. Then we were ushered upstairs to our first session of acupuncture. After that, we had to wait a bit and that was really uncomfortable because my bladder was so full. I had to ask a couple of times for the nurse to let me empty my bladder.

Eventually, Dr. Sur came in with the embryologist and transferred two fully expanded, hatching blastocysts. One of the blastocysts survived 100% and the other survived 98%, but both were hatching and they both looked great.

I have all my fingers and toes crossed that one of these little blasts is on its way to taking up residence in my uterus. My beta is scheduled for next Wed. Hopefully, I'll be patient enough to wait and not test beforehand!

Too Much Thinking!

I hate to admit it, but I've been thinking way too much and thinking too much usually leads to me worrying and then anxiety and then second-guessing. So, that's where I am right now...second-guessing on everything related to the FET.

Currently the issue I'm obsessing on is whether or not I should have requested a test for beta integrins. When I talked to Dr. Sur about this he said that he didn't think I should test because nothing pointed to implantation issues. I asked why, considering I've had 2 failed IVFs and he replied that those were most likely embryo quality issues.

At the time we talked about this it made sense. The first IVF we transferred two fair day-2 embryos which most likely would not have made it past day 3 and on our second try we transferred a single fair day-3 embryo. So, nothing to make you say, hmmm...those were good embyros, why didn't they make it?

I know it's a bit late for me to be wavering like this, but I can't help wondering. To give me a little piece of mind, I've told myself it things don't work for me with this FET, I'll definitely do the test before our next FET AND I'll also do a laparoscopy (even if Doc doesn't agree with this one).

No Silver Lining

Not even a hint or glimmer of silver. I got the news and I had a feeling that it was going to come down to this -- my lining is just barely too thin. It's at 7.7mm and CC.RM likes it at 8mm. No word yet on what'll happen to the FET. I guess we just wait and see, but that's not all the good news.

There's also something happening with the lining. Some abnormal thickening on one area of the lining. The doctor who did the scan thinks it might be a polyp or something, but it's definitely a lump/protrusion of some sort. Not very large, but it's there. It's a bit strange, so we'll see what CC.RM says, but for the time being I'm a little freaked out and whole lot worried.

UPDATE: We're still on for the 8th! Part of me is happy and excited, the other part is second-guessing whether or not we should go forward seeing as though we're right on the borderline of too-thin and we have the unidentified something or other growing in my uterus. But, Dr. Sur says it's a go and I've trusted them this far, so Denver here we come!

Back to Reality

Sorry for the huge lapse in posts. I know there's no excuse, but does being on vacation count? I just got back from our vacation to Iceland, Finland, Sweden, Estonia, and Greenland. It was a whirlwind trip with no rest. Seriously, I need a vacay from our vacay. Doc loves to pack as much as he can into our trips and this time he outdid himself. We spent the most time in Iceland, driving around the country and seeing all the major sites. It is an absolutely beautiful island and the name, "Iceland," is a bit of a misnomer. It was cold, but it's also very green and lush with tons of beautiful waterfalls. Luckily, our days were long with 20+ hours of sunlight, so we were able to squeeze a lot into our days.

But now I'm back at the office, trying to refocus again. It's so hard to get back into the swing of things after coming back from vacation. (insert long sigh) I always, always kick myself for not adding in a couple of buffer days to make the transition a little less painful. It never works, though.

On another note, the countdown has begun to my FET...It's a little less than a month away before I head back to Denver to transfer two of my four blasts. I started the lupron yesterday and the last day for my BCPs is tomorrow. I can't believe we're so close. I don't want to get my hopes up, so I'm trying to remind myself that I only have a 50/50 chance according to all the stats that I've read on Google and what Dr. Sur has told me. I'm taking it one day at time and hoping for the best!

Recap

We had our $108 15 minute call with Dr. Sur last week to discuss next steps and to pick his brain a bit. In summary, he said that he didn't think this cycle really differed all that much from last cycle even with the two extra blasts (I'm not sure why). And amazingly, he actually said that the quality of my eggs aren't bad. He thinks that my follicles need to be bigger in order for the eggs to be mature. Unfortunately, I stim slowly and I'm already at the max days that he'd like to stim someone. Add to that, my follicles don't grow at the same rate and I tend to have a lot of smaller ones which aren't mature. So, bottom line is that there's not much more we can do.

Based on my records of this cycle and last cycle, it does seem like the mature follicles/eggs are the ones that are 20+ mm. Anything smaller is immature. So, while most people can have mature eggs with a follicle at 17 or 18mm, I would not be one of those.

So, what are our next steps? Well, with 4 blasts to choose from, Dr. Sur recommended transferring two, the 4AB and 3BB from this cycle. The remaining two (which are day 6 blasts -- 5BB, 4AB) will remain happily frozen and hopefully, not be needed until way down the road.

In the meantime, I've been enjoying life again. Going on runs, drinking coffee, having glasses of wine...life is good once more!