12 Weeks

I made it to 12 weeks! Lots of things have been going on and luckily, I think the worst of the nausea has finally passed. I've actually been able to make it through the day without feeling like I'm going to throw up at any minute. Don't get me wrong, the nausea and food aversions are definitely still there (I can't even look at pico de gallo without wanting to hurl), but I actually have some energy and feel half-way human. I can't wait to be able to enjoy food again...to look at food and say, "YUM! I wanna eat that hunk of meat!"

I also graduated from CC.RM! I'm done...no more meds, no more blood tests for progesterone and estradiol. It was a bit sad saying bye to Annie. She is the best nurse and really made my cycles at CC.RM so much easier. After being with CC.RM so long, it feels weird to be alone and not having them there as my security blanket.

What else? We had our NT scan and tested negative. To me, this was the last big hurdle we had to pass. I know we still need to get through the second and third trimesters, but this test was what would decide whether I could go public and our results were really good. As a result, we'll probably opt out of having doing an amino and we'll make our announcement this weekend at Doc's family BBQ.

Yes, Doc's family still doesn't know. I made the decision to wait on telling the in-laws just in case. I'm really happy we did and feel so much more comfortable now than I would have if we had told them earlier on. Not that telling them would've been bad, but the less people that know, the easier it would've been had something gone wrong.

Lastly, we got to see our little eggy! It was the best thing ever. I swear, I think I'm in love and I couldn't help but cry a few tears. I could see him (defaulting to "he", but we don't know yet) waving his arms and legs and doing little summersaults. This was all during our NT scan and the tech was so nice. She pointed out how he was swallowing amniotic fluid and showed us different views. Doc and I could've stayed there forever just watching him hang out and do his thing.

Before I end, I want to say congratulations to Tortoise Baby!

Taking a Breather

I'm so, so sorry. It's been too long, but I have excuses. Basically, for the last week and half I have been exclusively focused on making it through each day without having a break down or throwing up in inappropriate places.

I really hate sounding like I'm complaining, but I had absolutely no idea that my morning sickness (or all-day sickness) would be so bad. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate that it's my body's way of telling me that our little eggy is still safe and sound, but maybe it could tell me a little more subtly. For awhile, I was nauseated constantly...every day, 24 hours, even in the middle of the night when I woke up to go to the bathroom. It was the worst in the afternoons/evenings -- cooking dinner, forget about it. Poor Doc hasn't had a homecooked meal in weeks. I've even switched to chewable prenatal vitamins since the others were making my throw up (very, very sensitive gag reflex).

I think my worst night was a couple of weekends ago when Doc and I were at Mass in the evening and it was so hot and crowded at church. I started to feel nauseous after the second reading and then it got progressively worse as we went through the Gospel and then the Homily. I forced myself to make it through the Communion and then I ran out of church, dragging Doc with me and we hightailed it home where I ended up kneeling by the toilet and throwing up...everything.

The next day I got a prescription for zo.fran and let me tell you, it is not the blessing that I had hoped for. It did absolutely nothing other than give me a freakin' monstrous case of constipation. I was so backed up, that it made me even more bloated and nauseous. During these hard times (pun intended), Doc's only medical contribution was to tell me that I could get relief by doing an enema or manual disimpaction (he did make it clear that he was not going to do the disimpaction). Needless to say, this information was not helpful and only succeeded in making me even more irritable.

Anyway, so all this rambling is finally leading to the fact that I may actually be feeling a little better. The last couple of days have been a little less painful and I've actually been able to go grocery shopping without feeling like I'm going to hurl on the tomatoes. I'm not holding my breath, but I'm praying...

9 weeks!

Wow! I can't believe it! It's already been nine weeks. I'm still in a bit of shock to think that I'm actually (still) pregnant.

On Tuesday, I went in for my second ultrasound and the baby is doing well! Heartrate is up to 181bpm and it was measuring at 8w6d -- exactly as it should be. At that appointment I had a long discussion with the OB to discuss options for genetic testing, and we decided to do the NT and if necessary, an amnio. It seems that no matter how far along in the pregnancy we get, there's always another hurdle to cross.

As for the morning sickness, thank you all so much for your advice. It's been pretty brutal to say the least, but no one except for Doc seems to be too concerned about my lack of eating/appetite. My OB said not to worry, the baby will get all the nutrients it needs. But, I did follow your suggestions and I've been making some protein smoothies to help me get through the day.

The other good news...I'm almost completely weaned off the progesterone and estrogen supplements! Saturday will be my last dose of PIO and my last patch. After that, I'll only be on one endometrin insert and one oral estrace. Something to look forward to!!

Food, Glorious Food!

I have a serious issue and I need some help on this, so any advice would be much appreciated. For the past week or so, I have had absolutely no desire to eat anything. I think it's a combination of complete food aversion and nausea. It's gotten so bad that I actually have to force myself to eat. Literally, I have to tell my hand to pick up the food, put it in my mouth, chew, and swallow. If I'm lucky I'll get down half a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch and then some jook (waterey cooked rice stew type of thing) for dinner.

Doc started to freak out last night when all I could eat for dinner was half of an egg roll and 3" of a Subway sandwich. I wasn't actually concerned until he started to get concerned because #1, I'm not constantly throwing up (maybe because I'm not eating anything?) and #2, all my concentration for the past 2 weeks or so has been on just making it through the day. Oh, and I've tried all the non-prescription remedies: ginger, B6, sea-sickness wrist bands, saltines, small meals, etc.

I told Doc not to worry because there were women that are far worse than me, but that didn't seem to console him and now he's got me all worried. I have an email out to my OB, but I also wanted to post the question to you. Is this normal? Have you experienced this, too? Should I be concerned?

Progress

These past few days have been a real struggle, so I apologize if this post is a bit incoherent. I am so incredibly tired and the non-stop nausea has not helped me one bit. I sit behind a desk all day and by 3pm, I am so incredibly tired, I just want to collapse. How do women who do more physical work even function? Am I that much of a wuss?

Yesterday, I had my first "major" ultrasound and they were able to get a count on the heartbeat. The little eggy (named for our one good egg and also "eggy" sounds very similar to "baby" in Korean) is now measuring 9mm with 137 bpm. They're estimating the age to be 6w6d which is only one day behind if you calculate using our transfer day. So far, so good!

As much as I want to go out and celebrate, I constantly have this nagging worry in my mind and I can't help, but be scared. There's always a "but" somewhere. I'm hoping that I'll feel a bit more confidant once I get through the first trimester.

Next stop: med reduction and another ultrasound in 2 weeks!

Ultrasound Update

We had our first ultrasound yesterday and everything was looking a-ok! We have one little bean who decided to stick around. It was such a relief to see the flickering heartbeat and nice round yolk sack. Unfortunately, the doctor had not scheduled the appointment as a "major" ultrasound so we didn't have the equipment that could count the beats per minute. But, after figuring that out we went ahead and scheduled the right appointment for next Wednesday.

The doctor took the crown to rump length and measured 5mm which puts us at 6w1d which is just one day short of the "real" age which is 6w2d. I'm now anxiously waiting for Wednesday's appointment! Does the waiting and anticipation ever end?

On another note, I can't wait until I can stop doing the PIO shots and these estrogen patches. My estrodial was at 868 and progesterone was at 91, so I'm hoping that I'll be weaned off of these soon and then maybe, just maybe, my nausea will lighten up a little (well, a girl can hope, right?).

6w1d

Wow! I can't believe I just wrote that...6 weeks and 1 day. It's amazing. I really can't believe it and I'm still pinching myself. Well, between the bouts of nausea, I'm pinching myself. I'm not sure whether to be grateful or miserable, but morning sickness and in my case, all-day sickness has kicked in big time.

It's been a real struggle. Although, I haven't thrown up, I can barely function during the day because it takes all my concentration to just keep myself from lying on the ground and moaning like a wounded animal. The nausea is terrible. It's fully incapacitating. When I get home from work, all I can do is just throw myself on the couch and stare blankly at the TV. Poor Doc hasn't had a home cooked meal in quite a few days and thank goodness my mom lives nearby because I would have just stopped eating if she didn't bring over food.

Other symptoms include sore boobs and fatigue and bloating. The sore boobs have really thrown me for a loop because it's almost like I have a foreign body...Imagine this: having "nearly A" boobs for your whole life and then one day, boom they grow bigger and fuller and they hurt when you jump or try to sleep on your stomach. Is this how the other 99% of women live?

Don't get me wrong. I am so thankful for these symptoms because without them I'd be more of a basket case then I am now, so bring the symptoms on! And, hopefully, tomorrow we'll get a glimpse of the little bean causing all my pain.