Progress

These past few days have been a real struggle, so I apologize if this post is a bit incoherent. I am so incredibly tired and the non-stop nausea has not helped me one bit. I sit behind a desk all day and by 3pm, I am so incredibly tired, I just want to collapse. How do women who do more physical work even function? Am I that much of a wuss?

Yesterday, I had my first "major" ultrasound and they were able to get a count on the heartbeat. The little eggy (named for our one good egg and also "eggy" sounds very similar to "baby" in Korean) is now measuring 9mm with 137 bpm. They're estimating the age to be 6w6d which is only one day behind if you calculate using our transfer day. So far, so good!

As much as I want to go out and celebrate, I constantly have this nagging worry in my mind and I can't help, but be scared. There's always a "but" somewhere. I'm hoping that I'll feel a bit more confidant once I get through the first trimester.

Next stop: med reduction and another ultrasound in 2 weeks!

Ultrasound Update

We had our first ultrasound yesterday and everything was looking a-ok! We have one little bean who decided to stick around. It was such a relief to see the flickering heartbeat and nice round yolk sack. Unfortunately, the doctor had not scheduled the appointment as a "major" ultrasound so we didn't have the equipment that could count the beats per minute. But, after figuring that out we went ahead and scheduled the right appointment for next Wednesday.

The doctor took the crown to rump length and measured 5mm which puts us at 6w1d which is just one day short of the "real" age which is 6w2d. I'm now anxiously waiting for Wednesday's appointment! Does the waiting and anticipation ever end?

On another note, I can't wait until I can stop doing the PIO shots and these estrogen patches. My estrodial was at 868 and progesterone was at 91, so I'm hoping that I'll be weaned off of these soon and then maybe, just maybe, my nausea will lighten up a little (well, a girl can hope, right?).

6w1d

Wow! I can't believe I just wrote that...6 weeks and 1 day. It's amazing. I really can't believe it and I'm still pinching myself. Well, between the bouts of nausea, I'm pinching myself. I'm not sure whether to be grateful or miserable, but morning sickness and in my case, all-day sickness has kicked in big time.

It's been a real struggle. Although, I haven't thrown up, I can barely function during the day because it takes all my concentration to just keep myself from lying on the ground and moaning like a wounded animal. The nausea is terrible. It's fully incapacitating. When I get home from work, all I can do is just throw myself on the couch and stare blankly at the TV. Poor Doc hasn't had a home cooked meal in quite a few days and thank goodness my mom lives nearby because I would have just stopped eating if she didn't bring over food.

Other symptoms include sore boobs and fatigue and bloating. The sore boobs have really thrown me for a loop because it's almost like I have a foreign body...Imagine this: having "nearly A" boobs for your whole life and then one day, boom they grow bigger and fuller and they hurt when you jump or try to sleep on your stomach. Is this how the other 99% of women live?

Don't get me wrong. I am so thankful for these symptoms because without them I'd be more of a basket case then I am now, so bring the symptoms on! And, hopefully, tomorrow we'll get a glimpse of the little bean causing all my pain.

The Other 2 Week Wait

I'm not sure which is worse the "typical" two week wait of waiting for your beta results or the two week wait between your beta and that first ultrasound. I'm one week down, with one week to go and it's been excruciating.

Throughout the day, I'll take random moments to feel myself up and make sure that my boobs are still hurting (my one and only "real" symptom). Without that sign, I'd be lost, a complete basket case versus just a semi-basket case. It's hard to concentrate on anything else, and to be honest I've been googling everything under the sun regarding early pregnancy. Luckily, my job requires only half a brain, so it hasn't really affected anything that I'm doing.

As for some of my "maybe" symptoms...hunger. I am starving when I wake up and sometimes in the middle of the night, I'll wake up because I'm hungry. But, then again, I might just be hungry because well, because I'm hungry and I like to eat. Another "maybe" symptom -- gas and lots of it, which seems to be going hand in hand with my constipation. I've been drinking prune juice to alleviate the constipation which I think is contributing to my increased methane output which doesn't really do much for Doc or for my carbon footprint.

Argh! I tell you IF certainly gives new meaning to "patience is a virtue."

Complete Meltdown

Alright, I'm typically a pretty calm and unemotional person. I pride myself in being logical and not letting my emotions get to me, but today, that went out the window.

I just came back from work and all of sudden noticed...holy sh*t, my boobs don't hurt! And then I started freaking out -- big time, like, huge! I called up Doc who was working late and told him what was going on. He said that if I wanted to, I could go down to the lab and get the bloodwork done stat and see the results tonight. What kind of question was that? Did I want to?

So, I drove like a maniac to get to the lab before it closed and by the time I got back home, washed the dishes and folded the laundry (I do housework to calm myself), Doc had called to with the results and it was 2320 (38 hours doubling time)! Of course, Doc scolded me for stressing myself out, but when all you've got is symptoms and they start going away, I'm going to start freaking out. That's just the way it goes.

But, now I can sleep easy, at least for tonight and then we'll see what triggers my next big anxiety attack. Freakin' a...does the panic ever end?

Beta #2

We got the digits! 508! We made it over hurdle #2. My progesterone level at my last test was 59.2 and my estadiol was 454, so I'm good there, too.

CC.RM doesn't do anymore tests if your second beta is good, so we're now just waiting for the ultrasound which will be two weeks from today.

We haven't told anyone except for my mother and sister and Doc's older bro. For the time being or at least until the end of the first tri, I think we're going to keep it that way. We're being very, very cautiously optimistic. What is that they say...hope for the best, but prepare for the worst.