Thursday, August 18, 2011

Dazed and Confused

I feel like the last 24 hours have been a dream. I'm still in disbelief that I could actually be pregnant.

What did I do to celebrate? I treated myself to a positive pregnancy test! After 2 and a half years of never seeing a BFP, I peed on a stick last night, and there it was -- two lines. I could feel myself holding my breath and anticipating a stark white stick even though I had gotten a positive beta just this morning. I really, really wanted to see those two lines.

And now I'm going through what every IF woman goes through after getting a BFP...the fear. I'm ecstatic but at the same time, so incredibly scared. The only saving grace is that the symptoms (if you can even call them that) are still going strong, if not stronger. I still have the cramps, my breasts are sore and I have absolutely no desire for anything sweet and let me tell you, I love me some afternoon chocolate.

So, here I am waiting for tomorrow's beta and doing nothing productive except reading Dr. Google. Praying that the number rises!!


Jen said...

I can only imagine how surreal a + is after all this time! I'd be peeing on everything I could get my hands on just to see it over and over - ha!! So exciting!!!!

Jem said...

Hey! You ARE pregnant! 100%!

Step away from Dr. Google. He's not your friend.

How about a mani/pedi? Or something else non-IF to celebrate?

It's just important to embrace the fact that you are PG!!!

Anonymous said...

Yea for strong symptoms! That is such a good sign. So happy for you ;)

Anonymous said...

yay! FX for GREAT news tomorrow! i had no symptoms so yay for symptoms for you! i know they would have helped put my mind at ease, but seeing those two lines certainly helps, huh?

TurtleMama said...

Bring on the pregnancy symptoms! You are so lucky!

sienna said...

Beta day! I think it must be some rite of passage or something to feel this level of fear after a positive first beta. I could not do ANY work after mine bc I kept looking at other blogs and guessing my 2nd beta and what the minimum I would "need" it to be for me not to freak out. I even put together a spreadsheet of every blog friend who got a BFP and what their first few beta's AND progesterone levels were. Now tell me that ain't crazy (if you want me to forward it to you, just say the word) :o) I can't wait to hear s'more happy news from you today! Xoxo.