So, where should I start? Lots of things have been going on. Some that are ok, others that are not so ok. But, let's start with the ok news.
It's CD 1 and I'm ok with that because I knew that this cycle would be a no-go. I had my hysteroscopy on CD 10 of my last cycle and since I wasn't allowed to have any type of babymaking for one week after, I knew there was very, very little chance that I'd be knocked up. So, along with this CD 1 comes a fresh cycle to try, yet again, and this time we're doing an IUI cycle with letra.zole and meno.pur. I know the chances of this working are slim (if that), but there's still a bit of hope.
In addition to the IUI blood work that I have to do, I'm also doing some CD 3 blood work for CCRM and since they require that they do the testing, I've got to freeze my blood in my freezer (right next to the ice cream and frozen pizza) and then ship it off to them with dry ice. I don't know how I feel about having my blood in my freezer, seems sort of...well, unhygenic and biohazardous and just plain gross, but what can you do. I'll just add it to the evergrowing list of shit I had to do to get pregnant.
Ok, so on to the not-so-ok stuff...My SIL is pregnant with baby #2, she has officially lapped me twice and she got pregnant while she was still breastfeeding. This is my SIL, who is married to Doc's younger brother and although I'm happy that I'll have another nephew/niece to spoil, it still glaringly emphasizes the fact that I am INFERTILE. I know everyone in Doc's family is wondering why we're not pregnant (only his older bro knows about our IF treatment) so the fact that my SIL is pregnant just brings this question up to the forefront. Sucks.
My sons are 6!
6 years ago
6 comments:
That does suck. Luckily for me my brothers are slow in the relationship department. heh. A few friends have had 2 kids in the time we've been trying and it's still tough to take.
first off, yaay on doing an iui this cycle. sitting out cycles is no fun, so i'm glad you're doing this, bc there *is* hope that it'll work. i have no idea what letrazole is, but will google it as soon as i'm done writing this.
freezing the blood sounds bizarre, yet no one will be the wiser except for you :o) is this the freezer at work or home? am picturing your blood in a plastic bag next to a bunch of coworkers' frozen lunches :o)
that completely blows about your SIL soo :o( i can imagine just how hard that news is right now. is doc taking it hard as well? or is he a typical guy and thinking that it's "not a race"?? that's what dh always says to me and i wanna give him the finger every time he does.
you've been on my mind alot too lately. esp, given that i went from ZERO mature eggs to ALL mature, this makes me super duper extra hopeful that what dr S has planned for you is going to get you a bunch of mature eggies as well. that extra day of stimming for me was obviously key, but i'm still convinced that a combo lupron/hcg trigger would've gotten me s'more eggs (i had close to 20 follies that were roughly same size) before trigger, so a bit stymied on getting 9 eggs, tho beggars can't be choosers in my case. i'm going to push for dr D to let my estrogen get even higher next time around, and to do the lupron/hcg trigger as well.
i just KNOW ccrm is gonna work their magic on you!!! are you hanging in there otherwise?? i just hope and pray that all this crap we've had to endure to get our babies will somehow have extra benefits for us down the road (ie: extra well behaved children who will never ever be mean to mommy, and who will take of us in old age, favor us over daddy, never give us ANY problems, get into harvard, etc ...). i hope i'm not expecting too much?? :op
ah..that does suck. i'm sorry... what a drag.
hopefully, this will be your cycle - hope runs eternal, right?
i'll be keeping you in my thoughts :)
freezing blood in your freezer? weird! but hey - i'd do it too!
that's awesome that you guys get to do an IUI. hopefully you'll get your miracle and all of the CCRM prep will be for naught!
sorry about being lapped. that sucks a big one. i don't know if you're interested in coming out of the closet to more people but i finally did (after 2.5+ years) and it honestly has helped so much with some of those stresses i put on myself about others around me. if you're not ready, i understand, i just wanted to say that it's really helped me.
hang in there, sooz! xoxo!
p.s. my BFF who first tried for baby #2 the month i went through IVF #1 so we could "be pregnant together" and of course she got pregnant on the first try ... she just had baby #2 yesterday. sucks.
Ugh, so sorry about your sil. I know that must be hard. I'm glad that cd1 is here so you can have a fresh stat and an awesome cycle.
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