Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Limbo

That's where I am right now. Just sort of waiting to see what happens. Trying not to stress and seeing if I can go with the flow.

Yeah, right, like that ever happens when you're TTC and all you can hear is your freakin' biological clock ticking.

I'm not sure if this is a good thing, but I can honestly say that I'm not as neurotic as I was before IVF when I was checking my CM, taking my BBT, using OPKs AND using a fertility monitor. Yes, I was doing all that and don't ask me how I had time to do anything else like work, sleep, eat. Now, all I'm relying on is my trusty fertility monitor and here I find myself (yet again after 6 months) waiting to see that damn egg and a peak day.

Although I'm happy that I'm a bit more laid-back about the whole situation, I sincerely don't believe it's because I've become a more relaxed person. Sadly, I think it's because I know deep in my heart that even if we do "our thang" during the peak window, we have almost no chance of conceiving. It's a futile effort, so I'm not going to agonize over whether or not I've actually ovulated.

My hopes are all on IVF #2 and that being said, I've started on my next obsession which is to better prepare my body (my eggs included) by taking a full arsenal of herbs and supplements. So, here's my list based on info from fertility sites, boards, and books.

CoQ10 as an antioxidant
Royal jelly with propolis for general fertility
Prenatal
Wheatgrass for egg quality
Calcium with vitamin D for overall bone health
B50 complex for energy
Herbs from my acupuncturist

For awhile I also tried out DHEA, but that was just giving me knarly headaches, so I gave that up.

Hopefully, something does the trick. Whether it be the herbs, the supplements, or just IVF. I don't think I can handle a #3.

2 comments:

sienna said...

hey babe - did you settle on which doctor you're going with? and are you starting in june fo sho??

where did you buy the royal jelly?? i used to beg scream and cry when i was little, bc my mom force fed me this stuff, and now ironically, i want some!! gonna go look online now :o)

arlnurse said...

I know exactly where you're coming from, & did the same EXACT thing you did after IVF 1!!! I'm also keeping track with my CBEFM, mostly because I think it gives me peace of mind to know that I'm O'ing regularly ( even if it won't get me pg). all those things you're doing definitely helped me emotionally, if nothing else, & I had a much better response the 2nd time around ( even though the end result was the same). I'm currently back on the DHEA, continuing the acupuncture, & preparing for whatever comes next.

Wishing you tons of luck!!!