Friday, October 15, 2010

Another BFN

Yes, I caved in and tested this morning even though I was supposed to wait until Sunday. I'm not surprised, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little bit disappointed. I think even though I knew that the likelihood of this IUI working was pretty low based on my other tries, there was a small part of me that thought, maybe, just maybe there would be a miracle.

Well, I guess the good news in all of this is that we don't have to cancel our trip to South America. We're leaving in one month and we'll be gone for a little over two weeks. We also have a cabin booked in Tahoe for the time between Christmas and New Years, so I'll be able to get in some last minute snowboarding before the our final IVF.

Between the IUI and prepping for the IVF, we've also been busily attending adoption seminars. Although there have been "threats" by the Korean government to halt all international adoptions by 2012, there hasn't been any real follow through, so most of the agencies I've talked to say that they're not worried. I guess the Korean government does this every few years, but never really follows through.

The unfortunate thing about adoption is that the entire process, even if it's done quickly still takes close to 1.5-2 years and anywhere from $20-$25K. The home study takes approximately 6 months. The wait for a match takes another 4-6 months (it may be a little bit shorter for us because we are of "Korean Heritage"). And then the longest and most painful part is the wait to travel and pick up your child, that takes 10-12 months, primarily because of all the logistics around immigration and visas.

I'm just hoping and praying that our IVF in Jan/Feb will work. I'm not sure how much more IF I can take.


sienna said...

boohoo on the bfn. ugh, i'm so sorry soo. i really thought that since you responded so well, that you'd get lucky. you're gonna be in the best hands possible come january. and i really think that this'll be your best chance ever. i think the doc's've learned a lot from ivf #'s 1 and 2, and that your chance for success on this round is so much higher. i hate that we're our own guinea pigs though. that's the worst part.

glad you guys are looking into adoption meanwhile. the little research that i've started to do has been frustrating, bc there aren't many agencies that work with ny. i don't understand this at all. but nj and minnesota and other strange parts of the country are included but NOT ny?? i'm baffled and it was offputting enough that i'm just in my pissy stage about the whole thing.

where in south america are you guys going?? that sounds super super lovely and between that trip and tahoe, you guys are going to have a blast and be very well rested for january. dh called a stop to our big vacays ever since we started fertility treatments (boohoo), so we had to settle for capecod this summer. iknow, life could be worse, but i miss our big trips!!!

hang in there. i know it's sooo much easier said than done. i hope it's giving you faith that the extra day of stimming worked wonders for me. it just has to work for you too :o) xoxo.

sienna said...

ps - my word verification just now: "STORKS". that HAS TO BE a good sign, yes??

Anonymous said...

sooz, i'm so sorry about your BFN. i thought you'd get lucky this cycle! everything sounded so awesome. enjoy this time off. enjoy south america. enjoy tahoe. enjoy life. i'm with sienna - come january, you're gonna be in great hands (the best?). this is gonna work for you. it will. hugs!