Sometimes I forget how fortunate I am for all the things that I do have. It's too easy to focus on the bad things, like dealing with insurance and getting sucked into the TTC vortex. Bitching is sometimes so much easier than being positive. There are times, though, when something happens and you realize. Holy! My life ain't so bad. Actually, it's pretty damn good. Yesterday night was one of those moments.
Doc got a call from an old friend of his (let's call him Dude). We haven't seen Dude since his wedding in August of 2008, so he hasn't even been married for two years yet. Anyway, when he got married and we met his wife, both Doc and I thought to ourselves: Wow...They're very different. I wonder what they have in common? Anyway, Doc and I thought, they must love each other and love conquers all, so let's be happy for them.
Dude is a guy's guy. A bit on the particular side, but likes to snowboard, hang out with his buddies, watch action flicks, grab a beer, etc. Dude's wifey on the other hand is a classically trained musician. She grew up very sheltered and is very, very quiet. Doesn't enjoy anything athletic and pretty much just likes staying at home.
So, now here we are, not even two years later and Dude is calling Doc because his marriage is falling apart. He asks Doc how often do we fight? Doc and I have had probably less than 6 full out arguments in during our 4+ years together. Two of those were when we were planning our wedding and another 1 was during my crazy hormonal mood swing while taking IVF meds. Anyway, Dude tells Doc that on average they fight 1+ hours/day and 7+ hours on the weekends. WTF?!
When Doc was relaying this to me, my jaw just dropped. How does someone even have the energy to fight that much? Out of exhaustion alone, I'd just give up, crawl away and let the other person win. Life must be absolutely miserable.
I felt horrible for Dude, but at the same time I felt so much love for Doc. I realized how lucky we are. Sometimes I take it for granted and it takes moments like these to make me realize that I have something very, very special. Doc and I can spend weeks together 24-7 (like on our vacations) and we will never have even a minor spat. It takes work and patience, but it's so worth it. Having Doc in my life is the best thing that has ever happened to me.
My sons are 6!
6 years ago
4 comments:
there's nothing like perspective, yes?? my dh and i have been fighting more since we started TTC, but in general, we don't fight that much. i can't imagine ever having the energy to go through what your friends are going through. dayam. go home and *hug* your honey!! ps - any big trips coming up soon?? i'm itching to plan another one :o)
I couldn't agree with you more!!! I often remind myself, that while I deal with IF, some women have kids, but a lousy husband or no husband at all. CB & I rarely fight too, & I remind myself all the time how incredibly lucky I am to have found my true soulmate! ( I think it's God's way of making up for the IF thing :) )
i hope your friend "dude" finds peace in his marriage. you are fortunate to have a wonderful husband and marriage. i'm sure a baby won't be far behind. :)
that does put things in perspective - and after reading this post, i feel very grateful for my wonderful DH too! thanks for that...
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