ugh sooz. i'm soooo sorry. are you okay???? i realize that's a bit of a dumb question, but i'm thinking of you and sending a big hug.
this f*cking sucks. i was so hopeful that dr z was the magic cure and now i hate him on your behalf bc i feel like he let you down bigtime.
you know, when i first saw you on babycenter (that's how i found your blog initially), i did a quick scrub-through of your blog and do you know what my first thought was? "she's gonna get pregnant". i still believe that with all my heart. i soo wish it had happened this time, and i just wanna throw my own hands up in the air and give up bc this whole fertility bullshit is really getting to me. this $hit shouldn't be so hard for any of us and i'm just angry with all the bad news in the blogosphere of late. and esp with this news today.
know that i'm here at any time. if you can't talk to dh about things or if you just need a friendly ear, i'm here 24/7. just holler at me.
kick, scream, cry. do whatchoo gotta do to get through this. it's soooooo not over, and don't let dr z's donor egg comment EVER make you give up hope that this is gonna work. with your eggs. and dh's sperm. you're gonna get your cute, chubby little bab(ies) and then we're gonna meet up somewhere and have an awesome playdate for our kids. okay?? xoxoxo.
I am 35 and I used to like a lot of stuff, like snowboarding, running, eating sushi, and drinking adult bevs. But it seems like everything I like to do conflicts with having a baby. So, I've switched to consuming box juice drinks, eating jello, and rolling with my walker. Well, maybe not that extreme, but you get the picture. It's a different life and I guess when you're like me and are infertile and almost AMA (Advanced Maternal Age or aka an old fart), you've gotta make some life changes whether you like it or not. So, here's my journey...
November 2007: We're married! Decide to postpone family for one year to travel.
February 2009: Ready, set, go! We start trying for +1. Off of BCPs.
July 2009: Something is not quite right. Luteal phase is too short. Periods are too light. Start acupuncture and herbs
September 2009: Contact Ob/Gyn about short luteal phase and she refers me to an RE. The RE recommends blood work and an HSG. Husband gets a SA. Everything is clear and good to go.
November 2009: Begin Clomid Challenge Test and prepare for IUI #1 (which doesn't happen because of the Thanksgiving holiday). We end up doing things the old-fashioned way. FSH #s pass the CCT. Unfortunately, lining too thin. BFN.
December 2009: Start femara and prepare again for IUI #1. Follies look good. Lining is a little thin, but not terrible. BFN.
January 2010: Start femara and IUI #2. Start with a new acupuncturist.
February 2010: IUI #2 is BFN. Begin birth control pills for IVF. Husband gets another SA -- morphology (tested using Kruger) comes back at 7%. Antral follicle count is low at 10 follicles.
March 2010: IVF #1 -- Slow responder. Follicles are taking their sweet time to grow. Retrieval date is 3/13 (Doc's birthday).
March 13, 2010 -- 10 eggs retrieved from 11 follicles: 3 mature, 5 partially mature, 2 immature. Only 2 fertilized. 2-day transfer scheduled.
March 15, 2010 -- 2 embryos transferred: 2-cell and 5-cell (both have quality rating 2). BFN
May 2010 -- Start IVF #2 with new doc and new protocol. Microdose lupron with estrogen priming!
September 2010 -- Consult with CCRM. Begin 75mg of DHEA.
October 2010 -- IUI #3 with letro.zole and meno.pur. Four follicles over 18mm and lining at 9mm. BFN
January 2011 -- IVF #3 with CCRM (antagonist protocol): 9 eggs retrieved, 5 mature, 4 fertilized. 1 4AB blastocyst makes it to freeze. FET in the future.
April 2011 -- IVF #4 with CCRM (antagonist protocol): 11 eggs retrieved, 5 mature, 4 fertilized. Three make it to blastocyst -- 4AB, 3BB and a day-6 5BB
August/September 2011 -- FET
August 17, 2011 - BFP! Beta: 252
August 19, 2011 - Beta: 508
J born on May 3, 2012 (8 days late)!
July 2013 - Getting ready for trip to CC.RM and surprise pregnancy with Baby #2!
5 comments:
I'm so very sorry. I hope you can find some peace for your heart and rest when you put your head on your pillow. ((((Hugs))))
ugh sooz. i'm soooo sorry. are you okay???? i realize that's a bit of a dumb question, but i'm thinking of you and sending a big hug.
this f*cking sucks. i was so hopeful that dr z was the magic cure and now i hate him on your behalf bc i feel like he let you down bigtime.
you know, when i first saw you on babycenter (that's how i found your blog initially), i did a quick scrub-through of your blog and do you know what my first thought was? "she's gonna get pregnant". i still believe that with all my heart. i soo wish it had happened this time, and i just wanna throw my own hands up in the air and give up bc this whole fertility bullshit is really getting to me. this $hit shouldn't be so hard for any of us and i'm just angry with all the bad news in the blogosphere of late. and esp with this news today.
know that i'm here at any time. if you can't talk to dh about things or if you just need a friendly ear, i'm here 24/7. just holler at me.
kick, scream, cry. do whatchoo gotta do to get through this. it's soooooo not over, and don't let dr z's donor egg comment EVER make you give up hope that this is gonna work. with your eggs. and dh's sperm. you're gonna get your cute, chubby little bab(ies) and then we're gonna meet up somewhere and have an awesome playdate for our kids. okay?? xoxoxo.
*hugs* I am so sorry.
I'm so sorry.
giant, giant (((HUGS))) from someone who's BTDT & I'm not giving up on you!!!!
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