Trials and Tribulations

I'm not sure if this is national news or if it's just been a local preoccupation, but in the Bay Area we're on high alert because of the Johannes Mehserle trial.

Doc was on-call until 11pm last night at the ER and he'll be on-call for most of the weekend. Our office sent out an email yesterday telling everyone to go home early and avoid Oakland. Everyone has been avoiding downtown Oakland and a lot of people who usually take BART (which is the "subway" system for the Bay Area) have opted to either not go to work or to take an alternative mode of transport.

It'll be a tense weekend and I'll probably skip my usual jaunt down to the Oakland Farmer's Market. I feel bad for the store owners and other businesses that will suffer due to the unnecessary violence.

On another note, I met with SI.RM yesterday and had a long discussion with Dr. G. He had a different perspective on my situation. He's of the opinion that my issue is a hormonal problem and not necessarily a protocol problem and that I need to address/treat the underlying hormonal problem. He basically said that with a good lab and maybe some changes in protocol, I could possibly get a few more mature eggs, however it wouldn't address the uterine issue (i.e., thin lining) which is also probably related to the underlying hormonal issue and probably causing implantation problems.

When I asked about donor eggs, his opinion was that it was far too soon to do donor eggs and even if I did do donor eggs, seeing as I may have a uterine problem, there's no guarantee that they would implant. He really thinks I should take some time to do additionally testing and find out if/what my underlying hormonal issues are.

So, that being said, I did a bit more research and it appears that a lot of my symptoms are related to eating disorders and nutrition. Adding to that list, I'm now including low DHEA. I just got my tests back and I'm on the borderline/low end of normal. Low DHEA, low estrogen, low libido, fatigue, insulin resistance, bloating, constipation, light/no periods, low heart rate (my resting heart rate is below 50), very low blood pressure, always cold...It's all there.

Amazingly and strangely enough, I've actually LOST weight since I've stopped exercising and eating more. It's seems so counterintuitive, but the scale shows a loss of 4 lbs! It's really hard to believe. I've been making a conscious effort to eat when my body says it's hungry and not ignore the hunger pains. Prior to this, I would just drink a ton of water or go exercise and typically that would suppress the hunger.

Unfortunately, I think there's still a lot of work to be done because I still have this mindset of what/how much I can eat. It's just so hard to overcome and even though I've increased my food intake, I'm still not sure if it is enough. Am I full or am I just "mentally" full? I know that may sound strange, but I'm really having difficulties with it. I've led a certain lifestyle for so long, I think it's going to take a long time to undo the damage.